Do you ever catch yourself thinking that you deserve something? I don’t mean the things that you actually do deserve like money for a job you’ve worked hard on or recognition for a role that you have played. No I mean catching yourself thinking i deserve X, Y or Z but then realise that there’s no reason you can think of that you deserve it.
That’s what I caught myself doing earlier today. I was thinking about my birthday. A key piece of information you need for this thinking is that I’ve already made a decision to stick to my calorie tracking on the day, in fact I have gone so far that I have planned exactly WHAT I will eat and when so I don’t have to make any choice. Well when thinking about my birthday I caught this little voice in my head saying but you deserve a treat. I think for the first time EVER I heard this lie and I almost laughed out loud about it. It’s so unbelievably not true that I wonder why I’ve ever believed it before.
Let’s start by looking at the definition for DESERVE:
“DESERVE, MERIT, and EARN mean to be worthy of something. DESERVE is used when a person should rightly receive something good or bad because of his or her actions or character” Merriam-Webster
“to merit, be qualified for, or have a claim to (reward, assistance, punishment, etc.)because of actions, qualities, or situation” Dictionary.com
Now when I look at those descriptions I that it is very clear that to deserve something you have to have DONE something. You need to have DONE an action to EARN it. So if you take that and look at my thought process about my birthday and a treat I am basically arguing that because I was BORN that means I should have a treat…. Now as a mum I think I find this statement more funny because I know full well that the person that deserve the treat for me being born is not me… my mum earned that treat!
So I think it’s pretty easy to write off this idea that just because I was born I should be allowed to have a treat. But the thought process didn’t stop there, oh no.
What do I deserve? Not just my stomach and my cravings but the whole entire complete me? Mind, body and soul, what do I really DESERVE?
And in response there’s a clear shout.
I DESERVE TO BE A HEALTHY WEIGHT.
I DESERVE TO REACH MY TARGET
I DESERVE TO SUCCEED
I DESERVE TO NOT MAKE THIS JOURNEY LONGER
I DESERVE TO SHOW MYSELF I AM WORTH MORE THAN A SIMPLE TREAT
I DESERVE COMMITMENT
I mean if anyone reading this asked me to help support them lose weight and they turned to me and said it’s my birthday I deserve a treat, I sure as heck wouldn’t just say ‘Sure you do, go eat a weeks worth of calories in one day’. Not a chance. I’d be asking them why. I’d be reminding them of what they are aiming for. I’d be asking them if they really wanted to gain a pound or two or three which they will then have to lose again? I’d be reminding them of how much eating isn’t the answer to having a good time or making something fun. So if I wouldn’t let a friend go wild on their birthday without asking them questions and challenging them why on earth am I allowing myself to do it.
(You may want to consider if you really would want my help cos if you’ve asked I sure as heck am not going to let you just cheat… not even on your birthday!!)
So that’s the aim. The aim is to remember that I DESERVE more than a treat. I deserve to be healthy and investment in myself on EVERY day of the year. That’s why my meals are planned. Thats what I will remind myself in the morning. I AM WORTH MORE. And so are you.